When You Get Scared

Monday (October 13) – OK, so this is going
to be a tough one to write. Why? Well beside my naturally built in phobia about
sharing personal details, there is the fact that some people will read this and
think scardy cat or chicken. Some will see weakness in what happened, but I
have to talk about this because it is one of those moments in your life that
you will remember.
I will put this in order. Here’s what
CrossFit Rugby Warm-up (5 minutes)
Disposable Heroes (No Cap)
5 Rounds
400m Run
40m OH Lunge (@25lb Plate)
25 Knees to Elbws (5 Burpees if you drop
25 HR Push-ups
25 Burpee Pull-ups
OK, so this WOD is a tough one. Add to
that, No Cap. Everyone is finishing. Pace is what it’s going to be all about. I
set out on the Run and I was the last in line, but I had my plan and I was
going to stick to it. The Lunges were tough and I took a couple of breaths to
make sure that I stayed on the bar for all 25 K2E. Push-ups. No issues (other
then being a little bit gassed). 1 Burpee Pull-up. 2 Burpee Pull-ups. Something
is wrong…
The world seemed to narrow. It was kind of
like looking at the box through a telescope and someone has put cellophane over
one end. I’m not sure I’ve experienced anything like it before. OK, I’m dizzy.
No big deal, get on a knee, collect yourself and reset. Some deep breaths to
bring my heart rate back under control and let’s stand up. Is the room tilted?
No, it is me. Time for a seat. I just need some more time. 3 minutes later, I
was still having trouble. I got some cold water on my head and some air, but
the cellophane still seemed to be over everything.  Was I having a heart attack? No pain in the
shoulder or jaw. No nausea. OK this is something else. Tav came out to check on
me and got me some juice (low blood sugar was the thought) and I started to
feel better.
Needless to say I did not finish and
registered a TKO…
I couldn’t drive for almost an hour, got
some Recovery into my system and just tried to wait whatever this was out. I
moved around and tried to get the blood flowing. Maybe there has just been too
much going on the last few days. Oktoberfest, 2 Jays games and Thanksgiving
with the Family in Kitchener. Lots of fun, but not what I normally do.  I rested for the remainder of the day trying
to take in as much water as I could.
Logical explanation for the events of the
day. Nothing to be worried about right? I agree. We went for dinner with
@SavannahJessie’s Mom who was visiting and as I was finishing the cellophane
was back. This time it brought a friend. I started getting a headache. Well
maybe @SavannahJessie better drive home, just to be safe. Halfway home and I
started getting chest pain. WTF! This isn’t good. It was like a moose was
sitting on my chest. I don’t panic a lot, but now I was scared. I’m not afraid
to admit it either. I’m CPR certified, I’ve gone through the symptoms. This
can’t be happening to me. I know I’m not a little guy, but I eat relatively
well, I exercise and I take care of myself (mostly). I’m not even 40 yet.  Stay calm. We called TeleHealth Ontario and
they suggested I go to the hospital.
I’m 39 and I’m going to the hospital with
some of the symptoms of a heart attack. This can’t be happening.
EKG, Blood Work (with someone who had
trouble finding one of my GIANT veins) and a Chest X-Ray later and the Doctor
decided that it WAS NOT a heart attack. I never had pain in my left arm, but I
did have some jaw pain (may have been psychosomatic) and some pain in my back. Still,
this has really freaked me out. I’m not ready for this kind of thing yet. I
have lots of things that I still need to do. I have a life that I am building
with @SavannahJessie and I don’t want that to be cut short. What do I do now?
I think the only answer I can give is
‘Exactly What I’m Doing Now’. Before you look at me like I’m crazy, follow
along. I can’t go back to what I was doing before. Not exercising, eating
everything in sight and generally swelling to the size of a small blimp. I have
to follow the path that I’m on (maybe cutting out the Oktoberfest and Blue Jay
games). Eating well, exercising and generally trying to make myself better.
I’m not sure there is a moral to this
story, except maybe this. I’m a guy. I’m old school. Men aren’t supposed to
cry. We’re supposed to be strong. We are never supposed to show fear or
weakness. Stupid really. What if I was having a heart attack, would I have
received a medal for being tough? Not calling TeleHealth or going to the
hospital because it would have shown weakness.  I was scared. Really scared when the chest
pains started, but I still called/asked for help. I wasn’t embarrassed to do
it. Well maybe a little bit, but the alternative was possible damage to my
heart and lungs and possibly death. That was reason enough.

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